For me, food is social. How about for you?
From
| October 15, 2009
In Coffee and Convo
The problem with food is that it loses something when it is not consumed with someone else. I often find myself at mealtime alone, now. No one to cook for but me. My mom has said cooking for one is too much trouble. But I am finding that it is more than too much trouble. It is too painful.
To sit at the kitchen table… by myself… and just eat… with no conversation… it steals all the joy. For me, sharing food is, and always has been, about fellowship. Cooking and providing food for others, breaking bread if you will, is meant to be shared. If it weren’t then why would you break it? If you are the only one eating, you could just dig in, no need to break the bread.
What used to be a challenge – to get dinner on the table and not go insane – has now become a missing piece in my life. I wish I knew then what I know now. But in reality I did always realize the importance of eating with my family. I have said before that my most memorable meal is not about what I ate or where I ate it, but is about who I shared it with. Flavors and textures are definitely part of it but are merely enhanced by the sharing with someone else.
So in this new world I find myself in, how do I create family? How do I fill the human need of breaking bread with someone else? Am currently taking all suggestions!
Comments
From Debbie Moose - October 15, 2009
You're making a big life adjustment, and food is a piece of that.I agree that the people are as important as the food you share with them. But, until you are farther along in this process, maybe look at one meal a day as a time to focus on what you want and need. Do this consciously. Prepare something that you not only enjoy eating but enjoy the process of preparing; maybe something that the others didn't enjoy. Think about where you've been and where you want to go. Make an effort to sit and savor the meal, not get it over with. I don't mean to sound too weirdly New Agey, but use it as a vehicle for thought about the future, not a time to dwell on what is absent.
From Beverly Mills - October 16, 2009
From Tami Cooke, via Facebook: I must be a little Italian because I really like the big family thing around the table... a lot of conversation. But with my family I never get to really talk. Eating alone is simple ...who does that? I don't eat when alone... I snack.
From Jason - October 21, 2009
When I lived alone while attending college, Sundays were acutely painful for me because that has always been the day we sat down regardless of busy schedules and shared a meal (very Irish Catholic upbringing I had). Trying to find other people in your situation, who are seeking to break bread together is a neat opportunity. My friends drove in every Sunday and would each bring a little element so we all, living away from our families, could share Sunday dinner together. I took on the main dish and everyone else did sides and desserts. Before we new it, other friends were hosting, or we were going out for a meal on Sundays - but we spent that dinner meal together every week. Having that one day a week really tided me through while I was in college, and I have some beautiful friendships and we all share happy memories from crowding six people into my four person apartment dining set. I can relate to not enjoying cooking for one, I would cook and there was no one to say "thanks, this tastes great" and that I found immensely lonely. I also started sharing leftovers Alicia, and found that filled my need to feed people while still cooking for myself - even if I didn't have time to share the meal. If you have an elderly neighbor you know well, or family/friends you know could use a meal occasionally - surprise them with a leftover, I bet you find it more fulfilling than you'd expect. My mother used to make liver and onions just so she could bring some to our elderly next door neighbor, because she knew he loved it.
From anna - October 25, 2009
Cooking is an art, not everybody like to do it. to cook well, you need the passion and sometime the mood to do so. I agree with Alicia that having the right company on the dinning table is the most imortant ingredient for a good meal.
From Beverly Mills - October 27, 2009
When I eat alone, dinner tends to be dip. I'll just pull out the salsa and call it quits!
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From Joan Garneau - October 15, 2009
You find people with whom you share your dinner. There are lots of people who would love to be invited, and lots of lonely people who don't like to eat along. I have a friend I invite once a week and he loves to eat my food. I love to cook something for him which I think he would like. You can ask casual acquaintances to come share a meal and they will jump at the chance to eat at someone else's table. Pretty soon you'll be invited to eat at their table and before you know it, you'll have someone to eat with as often as you like.